By Julie Randolph, Information and Access Care Coordination Manager
Two areas of life deeply affected by the loss of a partner or spouse are quality sleep and a sense of connection. The more we understand how this “shows up” in life, the better we can address it.
Sleep disturbance can include taking longer to fall asleep, frequent nighttime awakenings, and reduction in the deepest and most restorative phase of sleep. The loss of evening companionship can reduce the sense of safety causing a hyper-awareness of nighttime sounds. The results of poor sleep are difficulty concentrating, confusion, difficulty making decisions, and memory decline. Daytime fatigue can cause appetite changes and weaken immunity.
Loss of connection with your loved one can feel overwhelming as you are now responsible for “everything.” Home maintenance, bill paying, social engagement as a single adult, financial decisions to name a few, and with reduced income. Loneliness can also diminish our perception of others’ thoughts and intentions as we have no one to provide input or discussion when things are unclear.
Prioritizing essential tasks, learning new skills, asking for help, volunteering, joining a support group or club that holds common interests and values can all be helpful during this time. The development of meaningful relationships can never replace the love you have lost but it can help you continue to live. Create a new ritual, update your estate and advanced healthcare plan, and talk to professionals and friends about new challenges.
Senior Services is here for crucial life changes such as this. We can direct you to community resources and opportunities for engagement at our Activity and Dining Centers. Download the FREE Planning Guide from our website under the Care Coordination tab titled Keeping It Together: Advance Care Planning.
“When you are lost in your own life.
When the landscape you have known falls away.
When your familiar path becomes foreign and you find yourself a stranger in the story you had held most dear.
Then let yourself be lost.
Let yourself leave for a place whose contours you do not already know,
whose cadences you have not learned by heart.
Let yourself land on a threshold that mirrors the mystery of your own bewildered soul.
It will come as a surprise, what arrives to welcome you through the door, making a place for you at the table and calling you by your name.”
—Jan Richardson,
The Cure for Sorrow: A Book of Blessings for Times of Grief
